It started back in 2012, yes almost 10 years ago…. It is so important to align your actions with God’s timing. While the spirit was telling me that my mental and physical state was not ready, I acted on my own accord and started the journey anyway. Yet, God has a way of letting you know really quickly. I first started with Thomas Edison online college. After getting sick and deciding to medically withdraw, I felt defeated. I would try to return a year later (2014) and would be told that I would have to start the program over despite the classes I had already taken. Talk about feeling punished for something that was out of my control. I would wait another year (2015) and try with Western Governor’s online college. However, I got very sick again and faced the same outcome. At this point, I probably should have just stopped, but if you know me — quitting has never been apart of my vocabulary. So in 2016, I applied to Southern Wesleyan University. Everything was going perfect until the end of 2017. I had gotten so sick to the point where I ended up needing treatment and answers at Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville, Florida. Although a hard decision, in January 2018, I decided to medically withdraw. This would make the third time. But the fight and drive was still in in me. So, I didn’t stop, just paused. In the summer of 2020, I decided to try and go back. In my head, I told myself that if I had to start the program over again like the other schools, it just wasn’t meant to be. But God had a plan. THIS TIME, I was accepted back in with all of previous courses. I only had to take two additional classes. Talk about crying and praising…. Oh yes, I was filled with so much emotion. I was excited, yet fearful at the same time. But I knew God had prepped my recovery for this. Over the past year and a half, I was battling lupus flares and everything else mentally. The typical things you encounter when fighting a chronic illness. But I kept going. I was approaching my final classes towards the end of spring and decided to apply for an advocacy class. Crazy huh??? I don’t know what I was thinking either. Lol! I was overwhelmed and exhausted, but I kept taking everything one day at time.

 

August hits and boy did the excitement come along with it! I started a new job. And a week later, IN THE SAME WEEK, I presented my capstone project, took my final exam, prepared for my nonprofit’s Back to School event, hosted the event that Saturday, and then got engaged that evening. I was over the moon with joy!!!!! 

 

But a week later, everything caught up to me. I was still in my advocacy class, and little did I know depression was creeping in. I shut down mentally and physically.  Only my parents and fiancé knew…  And as normal Jade does, I decided to keep uplifting everyone else despite my own trials. I kept my circumstances private so that I could focus on me and not worry anyone. I decided to fast from social media and even stopped posting on my nonprofits social media pages. I completely disconnected so that I could reconnect with myself. So no, I wasn’t ignoring any of you, I haven’t been online. I needed time to heal and recover. 

 

Today, I get to walk across the stage knowing how far God has brought me! Not to mention, I also successfully completed my advocacy class! I’m still fighting a mental battle and utilizing resources to get better. My family and friends are extremely supportive. And I am forever thankful! I say all of this to say: Don’t be ashamed to take time for yourself. Don’t be embarrassed when you’re not okay. Don’t be ashamed to say … I need help. And don’t forget there’s always a reason behind God’s response of “No” and “Not Now”. Happy Friday Everyone!